In What We Trust

Trust is tricky-- it's either there or it's not
and right now i'm in it and I'm bummed.

You have no control... it's sad and disapointing and also just real. I hate being on the distrusting end and even more so on the end of not having trust. all of it sucks. It's one thing no one has control over.

Being distrusted without reason feels empty and actually just sad because it's actually in ones own head and there isnt anything to do or say to change it.

Not trusting someone... you have to decide if you have it in you to walk the journey toward loving yourself and not giving a fuck about what anyone feels, thinks or how they react . you have to ask what it is that truly got you to the place of having no trust.

I've walked the took quite a long time. years . a lot of alone time, reflection, being truly alone to sit in it and become whole again not being concerned about anything but me, how i arrived there and where i was going and how i wanted to show up in this world. having a relationship with myself first.

I wanted to show up really loving me, (not just saying so) knowing who I am , that i am worthy, whole and solid-- despite anything that happened or didn't happen around me.

As long as you sit in a place of uncertainty of self you cannot love or show up for anyone else, that is truth. Today I know that with all my being.

"you cannot look forward until you look back"--



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