We arrived at our new home here in Sayulita and have been settled MAYBE 25 minutes at Casa Jacaranda, we decide to get a ride into town (about a 15 minute walk) from driver Roberto who just zipped me in from the airport.
We had an awesome dinner on the beach sliding into Sayulita life, its about 10pm post dinner we look for a taxi as Roberto suggested and were talking TINY town, a plaza a few streets, handful of shops, restaurants etc and thats it.
Nothing resembling a taxi in sight, just blaring music from the bars, randoms and sketchies chilling in the plaza, tourists fluttering about and around1030 it seemed no one was in the streets, really we couldnt find a taxi so BFF says lets just walk
Its dark. Its Mexico, unpaved dirt roads, no streetlights think back alley and you got the visual.
Hooded guy walking with other guy
BFF has eye contact I say seriously you just had eye contact with that guy? She says, Shit Im sorry, I couldnt help it
I think great, now hood guy thinks BFF wants his ass. Were so getting gang raped.
I pull her across the street as a means to distance ourselves from hoodie BTW I saw this basic safety maneuver somewhere in some 20/20 special not thinking Id ever really rock it, Im totally rocking it right now.
Think uphill dirt road with about 7 side dirt road options to the left as you go up hill. We start walking and realize we have ZERO idea what our address is, and ZERO idea which road leads to our house its all on whatever memory we have combined which at this point is ZERO. Sweet Jesus.
One of the guys turns left and disappears hoodie is now solo.
We see him slide off to his house pass him by and suddenly realize we kind of have to ask him where our house isand BFF is like HELL NO.
So I ask "Hey, do you know where casa jacaranda is?"
He says "No. "
(hood comes downbff and I realize hes kind of hot Mexican .com) You girls should be careful walking alone in Sayulita at night
Thanks dude for that, as if we arent scared enough and kind have realized this about 15 minutes back.
Sorry I dont know where it is
Well dont be sorry just know that if we cant find it were coming back here to have you help us! (And make out with you)
We proceed forward alone jetting off five streets up to what we think is the right street leading up to our casa-WRONG. BFF is holding my hand we thankfully had a flashlight that Roberto gave us . It's seriously sketchy , no lights, dark, stray dogs following and barking at us, I'm totally getting in tiuch and presenting them with my inner caesar milan acting like the domninating pack dog ,
All we really recall is we live on the steepest hill of all. This current street we hit is just not steep enough
We proceed back to main road and hit another road up, wrong road, we re tired, dirty, scared and OVER IT
Suddenly at the main road we see the policia we saw in the plaza
I hail him down, lean into his window explain the situation in my awesome spanglish, he does not really get it but gets that he needs to drive us somewhere .
Passenger Cop steps out of the truck I look across and he is in full Mexican policia geardark uniform, some patches and of course the required creepy stashe and what gets me into holy shit were going to die mode is the full on major piece of weaponry that his wearing across his chestits basically a fully automatic weapon the kind the Taliban carry in the desert. As if that isnt horrifying enough, he use to point to the inside cab suggesting me and BFF slide into the front seat with them
YEAH RIGHT why dont we both just get into our panties and bra and help you personally gang rape us in the front seat and then drive us up that mountain and drop off our bodies to never be found.
Seriously I thought how the F___ are we getting out of this one.
I let him know were ok well both sit in back he is insistent I am more insistent I tell BFF to start getting her ass in the bed of the truck
Shes slightly freaking out. Im just trying to be some bad ass in a sundress with a flashlight.
All I think is how Andres and Phineas would KICK MY ISLAND ASS for even being in this positionthey would just die if they knew. Fortunately I found Jesus recently and just looked up and prayed the Hail Mary 5 times in a row,
Were just in hell. In Mexico. This is not so much living the dream.
After going up three totally wrong dirt roads to our higher up destination Mexican mansion on the sky we Finally arrive at Casa Jacaranda relieved we are still alive and panties still in place, we fly as fast as we can up our steep San Francisco driveway and start laughing our asses off at the basic brush with statistics we almost had.
Not the smartest move, but not a bad story for NIGHT#1 lord. What will night #2 bring at this rate?